Stinkface Wrestling News: Indy Star to be Repackaged as Doink The Clown; Current Plans for CM Punk

The following is a report from Stinkface Wrestling News, a pro wrestling news-source which aims to bring the integrity-fueled journalism of news sites such as ONN to this craft.  It just might get its own blog if it gets enough support from the people.

The current plan is for Jon Moxley to be repackaged as Doink The Clown and joined by the newly signed Japanese star Kenta Kobayashi, better known as KENTA.  In WWE, Kobayashi will use the name "Kenta The Clown" and all WWE onscreen personel will refer to him exactly as such at all times unless WWE can acquire the exclusive rights to the name KENTA.  Kobayashi currently performs for Pro Wrestling Noah, and has worked for Ring of Honor on many occasions in the past.

Since CM Punk is expected to leave WWE around the end of the summer, Doink and Kenta The Clown will take over and repackage The Nexus, writing off Punk via beatdown.  If Punk returns in time for Wrestlemania, the door would be open for a face-turn and feud with Kenta The Clown.

The feeling backstage is that this would especially benefit Mason Ryan as it would help to differentiate him from Batista and because no one can take seriously.

The following YouTube video came from a leaked audio feed for Moxley's first promo for WWE as Doink The Clown, along with transcript.



"For years I've been ignored, held down, and ridiculed.

You see, I'm not related to any of those old has-beens you like to put on the air whenever you feel like making fun of them, and lately, I haven't been the kind of guy you'd want your kids around, but I've been more loyal to this damn business than any big red dofus, any brooklyn pushover, or anyone that's spent the better half of their career waiting for their tag partner to retire.  I've kept my nose so clean that no-one on the Internet thinks that I am real.

Well pretty soon, you're all gonna find out just how real Doink The Clown is; all you snot-nosed dorks on your computers, all you sycophants that join in on the laughs about me and Gooker, all string-pulling general managers are gonna wish you paid me just a bit more attention.

It's about time that someone started a black hole in this WWE Universe."

Sami Callihan's Rising Star: If I Were WWE...

Earlier today I was blown away yet again by a Sami Callihan promo (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fX1fCLEQ2JM).  The eerie atmosphere he creates is quite refreshing, and gets me hyped-up for whatever he's about to do.  Unless he gets picked up by one of the Big Two soon (which I consider to be a very real possibility), I could really seem him making a big impact on the indy scene along with his former tag partner Jon Moxley.

If it weren't for McMahon's refusal to get behind a good goth/emo gimmick (and possibly PG rating + the psycho shootings in the news which Sami visibly shows influence from, but WWE has done stupider things in regards to those matters in the past, so why not for Sami and throw another quick disclaimer before the show again?), I'd say without a doubt that Sami would be first in line for a WWE contract. Even with the PG rating working against him, I've noticed that emo/goth references can be quite common in cartoons, and the guy oughta still be a top candidate at the very least. Even at this stage of his career, Callihan's charisma alone should be everything the E's looking for.

Fantasy Booking: Based on what I've been hearing about CM Punk's Nexus, Callihan would be a perfect fit for it. At some point later in the group's run Punk has had the WWE title for a good while. When Sami starts getting over via a Batista-like push, the Nexus start losing important matches, perhaps briefly costing Punk the title. Punk orders Callihan and another member to square off to determine who leaves the faction. When Callihan loses, Punk sternly enforces the order in spite of Sami's resistance, but begins to telegraph a small amount of intimidation as the Straight-Edge leader does so. On his way out of the arena, Callihan wrecks objects such as the announce table computers, and is not seen again for some time. A promo like the DGUSA one mentioned earlier surfaces (again that's http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fX1fCLEQ2JM, DG factions = Punk's Nexus) to put an awesome spin on the "I'm taking you out one-by-one" formula. Sami starts jumping Nexus, brutally beating-down members as the scared-as-shit Punk watches in despair (Matt Striker: "Switchblade Conspiracy! What has CM Punk unleashed!?"). Of course, it all builds up to a mania progam, highlighted by a promo with a similar vibe to the "number 3" promo (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EIivkjh0IKY). If they fetch him up now, WWE would be able to argue that they made Sami Callihan into a main event star.

EDIT: Forgot that I could embed vids.  Here are the promos linked above for those who prefer to watch them in this format.  If you liked the old Cactus Jack and Chris Jericho promos, you're in for a treat.:

Gabe Sapolsky's Eye for Talent

Gabe Sapolsky seems to be the very best when it comes to discovering talent in the wrestling business.  I remember times when Samoa Joe was compared to JBL, when YouTube shooters would wonder why Davey Richards was booked so strongly, and when people insisted that Bryan Danielson had no charisma. All three became huge wrestling stars under Gabe's booking regime.  It must be thrilling for the guy to believe in such men so long before the masses would.

It is for this very reason that I am confident in the future of Bobby Fish.  From talking with friends and bumping into forums while googling, I get the sense that he is respected as a solid worker but not the kind of guy who can be the face of a promotion.  Although Fish currently has a 0-4 record at Evolve wrestling (a promotion that greatly emphasizes on win-loss records), he took his opponents to their very limit.  A friend of mine was quick to point this out when we saw Evolve 3, and the trend has continued to Evolve 4 where he fought Bryan Danielson.  According to evolvewrestling.com, Bryan handpicked Fish as his opponent and was quick to him put over from his time working with him at Pro Wrestling NOAH.  During the match, Fish valiantly endured Danielson's offense and the excitement of the heavily pro-Dragon ACE arena crowd.  It seems quite evident that both Bryan and Gabe are very high on Bobby Fish, and I think I am beginning to see why.

As an MMA fighter, Fish incorporates some of the offense of this craft in his arsenal, most notably his brutal mounting-kneestrikes.  This fits him perfectly into the mold of Richards and Danielson before him, and enables him to represent the style of wrestling that Gabe and Dragon envision for North America.

At this point I've seen most of the Evolve shows either live and/or on DVD, and the events make it evident how important a victory is to Bobby Fish.  In the Evolve 2 DVD, there is a segment where he is having a phone conversation with someone who appears to be a significant other.  I must say I am compelled to see where this angle takes him.

In an industry where pushes are often fleeting (see JMo and Kofi from the last time I've seen WWE TV, then again I've heard the former is in a main event tag match at SummerSlam), or are provoke the suspicion of object-able motives, Gabe finds a way to find and develop new stars whom can connect with even some of the most cynical pro wrestling fans amongst us.